His Secret Heart (Crown Creek) Read online

  “When the times comes, though. We’ll be ready.”

  I opened my mouth to tell her than I wasn’t ‘ride or die,’ I was ‘run and flee.’ Then I closed it, my cheeks burning. I was embarrassed and touched at the same time. I was mad at Livvy for spilling my secrets. And thankful she’d gathered her posse on my behalf.

  The posse got bigger as the night wore on. We were joined by Livvy’s friends Naomi and Ryan, who acted just like a couple in spite of everyone protesting that they weren’t. Then tiny, petite Ruby showed up and enveloped me in a giant hug when Livvy introduced me. She waved to Jonah, who could only be related to Finn and Claire and laughed when he swung her around in a circle. Curly haired Willa popped up behind them with her blue-eyed man Cooper in tow, and both of them acted like I was a long lost sister. Which I guess I was. Just not to them.

  All through the night, I was alternately teased and hugged. Ethan brought over rounds from the bar and made sure I got first pick. Claire gave me the dirt on everyone sitting with us. Sadie quizzed me on my zodiac sign. Ruby made me a new playlist. Willa promised to teach me how to cook.

  I left that night with my face hurting from laughing so hard and a whole bunch of new numbers programmed in my phone.

  And for some reason, I was certain that even if I lost touch with these people, like I always did, they would not lose touch with me.

  It was all very confusing.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Finn

  “Bless you, honey,” Dinah sighed as she took the cup of espresso I'd handed her.

  She glanced at the door and I chuckled. “No one’s going to catch you,” I reassured her.

  “I feel guilty, you know?” She took a sip and closed her eyes. “Getting to drink this while my customers have to drink that swill?” She jerked her thumb at the carafe of coffee that always seemed to be filled to the exact same level. “It ain’t fair.”

  “It’s plenty fair.” I nodded as she pulled out a stool and patted it. Then sat down beside her.

  This had become our little morning ritual. I'd bring her a decent cup of coffee, and she'd me sit behind the counter. She always made sure to fill me in on the comings and goings of my neighbors. “And fifteen A is finally leaving today,” she told me between sips of her drink. “I thought I was going to have to call Jim at the police department.”

  “Are you going after fifteen A for the rent?” I asked.

  She waved her hand. “He needs it more than me. And honestly, it’s a blessing he even decided to leave. Did you know he planted a garden? He was thinking long-term.” She widened her eyes comically.

  I laughed along with her, but inside I was shaking my head in amazement. Dinah’s open-hearted generosity never failed to bowl me over. I’d always thought that my brother Beau was the only good person in the world.

  Then I’d met Sky. Then Dinah.

  I took another sip and tried not to think about how wrong I’d been. About so many things.

  The wind caught the door as it opened, sending it flying back against the building with a sharp bang. Dinah nearly spilled her espresso. “Merciful heavens, Adam! You sure do know how to make an entrance!”

  I stared at the man in the doorway. Adam. So my neighbor in the faded green Army tent was named Adam.

  He looked between me and Dinah and then back to me, his expression unreadable. “Hey man,” I said over the rim of my cup.

  He looked pleadingly at Dinah. She gestured at me. “Adam, this is my friend Finn - ."

  “King,” I finished. Before she could use my alias. I felt Dinah staring at me, but I kept my eyes on Adam. “I’m Finn King. And my brother Beau is engaged to Rachel Walker.”

  Saying it felt like some kind of battle cry. I hadn’t taken ownership of the simple fact of my family connections in a long, long time.

  Rachel’s name had the exact same effect on Adam as it did on Dinah. The tension eased out of his shoulders, though his expression was still wary. “Hello,” he said, with a small wave.

  It was a start.

  “Dinah?" he asked, turning to her. "Is there any food in here that doesn’t need to be heated up? Our wood is wet.”

  “Sure honey, you can check down that aisle right there,” Dinah started to say.

  But then jumped again when I leaped from my stool. “Merciful heavens,” she complained, wiping at the drop she’d spilled on her sweatshirt. “You move way too fast.”

  “Sorry, Dinah. But Adam?” I called across the store. I had to say it before I lost my nerve. “Do you need to cook tonight? Come over to my trailer. I’m right across the way.”

  My sister, Claire would never be caught dead deferring to a man. But if she did, she’d be subtly bossy about it.

  Exactly like Adam’s wife, Esther.

  “Sit down,” she ordered me for the second time. “I'll have it out in a second.”

  I hovered at the edge of the kitchen she’d banished me from. My own kitchen. “You need help finding anything?” I asked.

  “Sit!” she barked.

  I turned and looked at Adam, who was already sitting at the table with a giant grin on his face. He caught my eye and shrugged, and his grin got even wider.

  If ever there was such thing as aggressive deference, it would be what Esther was practicing. We were the men, so by God she would cook for us. Even if she had to shout at us until we let her.

  “She’s happy to have a kitchen again,” Adam explained in an undertone as I sat down across from him. “It’s been bothering her.”

  “I can see that,” I said as I watched Esther. She moved in double time, fixing a meal for all five of us - right down to mashing peas for little Charity who was currently toddling across my floor towards my boots. And she did it all with tiny Hannah slung over one shoulder.

  She served us with Hannah in place too, and then went off to nurse her in the bathroom while Adam and I ate. Adam hefted Charity up into his lap and tried to force some peas into her mouth, but she wailed until he set her back down again. “She’s not used to me feeding her,” he explained, watching Charity with sad eyes. “The men usually have nothing to do with the care of children.”

  “Did that bug you?” I asked. He was staring at his little red-faced daughter with an expression of pure love. “Is that why you left?”

  Adam looked up. I turned to look where he was looking.

  Esther had emerged from the bathroom adjusting her top. Hannah was passed out in her arms.

  She looked at the two of us. “Go on,” she said to Adam with an encouraging nod.

  Adam took a shaky breath. “Being pregnant with Hannah nearly killed her,” he said, watching Esther the whole time. “When we were matched, I couldn’t believe my good fortune. I was blessed beyond all comprehension. I remember getting down on my knees, thankful that I could spend the rest of my days with the woman I loved more than anyone else.” He brushed a finger down Hannah’s cheek as Esther lowered her into his arms. “Except you, maybe,” he cooed to the infant. “Our little miracle.”

  “Are you okay?” I asked Esther.

  She looked at Adam again.

  “Hemorrhage,” he told me. “It happened with Charity too, but this was so much worse. She needed so much blood.” He shook his head and squeezed the infant tighter. “How could I put her through that again?” he cried. He seemed to be asking me, truly wanting to know. “How could I do it, and leave my daughters without a mother?”

  Slowly, I pieced it together. "She's on birth control."

  Esther ducked away, heading back into the kitchen where she felt safer. I looked at her, then back to Adam. "Did they kick you out?"

  "No.” He shook his head. “We left together.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “She’s still adjusting. She’s not sure about it. But I tell you, we’re not going back.” He shook his head and raised his voice again so Esther could hear. “I’d rather suffer eternal damnation than murder my own wife."

  Chapter Thirty

  Finn

&nbs
p; Sky brushed her fingers down my face. I smiled in my sleep, tilting my head up to her and sighing. I was so glad she was back. How could I have ever let her go?

  I rolled over. "Good morning," I murmured to her.

  She poked me in the eye.

  I jerked awake. Two curious eyes inspected me and a chubby finger was being aimed at my eye again. “Oh,” I said, pulling my face back out of toddler range. “Good morning, Charity.”

  Charity stared down at me as I stretched and sat up. Then shivered. I was in the faded green tent, I remembered. Adam and Esther had slept in the trailer last night. “What are you doing here?” I asked the toddler.

  “Buh,” she informed me and yanked on my beard.

  “Eesh, yeah you got some good finger strength there. You should play bass.”

  “Charity!” Esther’s panicked voice carried across the whole campground. I scrambled to my feet and poked my head out of the tent flap, impressed that a kid who could barely walk had managed to unzip it. She definitely had future bass-player fingers. “She’s with me!” I called across the road.

  “There you are!” Esther flew across the road in a flurry of skirts and scooped up her daughter, shaking with relief. Charity let out an indignant squawk. “I thought they took you,” she whispered against her daughter’s cheek. Then she turned to me. “I’m so sorry, she’s been going on these little adventures lately.”

  Then Esther suddenly recalled herself. Her eyes widened and she stared at me.

  I looked down and realized I wasn’t wearing a shirt. “Sorry,” I muttered. But she wasn’t running away. That was… progress? “And don’t worry about it. She’s gonna conquer the world someday,” I said, tugging on the toddler’s fat little foot.

  Esther’s smile was pure pride. “That’s what I’m hoping,” she said shyly. Then she looked at me again. “Thank you for letting us sleep in your trailer. It was nice to be able to stretch out.” She jiggled her daughter up and down. “Even though this one takes up half the bed.”

  “I can imagine.” I reached into the tent and pulled out the waffle-weave Henley I’d been wearing last night and pulled it over my head. “And you guys are welcome to it again tonight, too. Keep these little toes warm.” I tugged at Charity’s foot again and she giggled and kicked.

  “Thank you, but it’s not necessary.” Adam had come across the way to meet us. “She’s asleep,” he whispered to his wife after kissing her cheek. “I put her on the floor between some pillows.”

  “It’s fine, man,” I told him. “I actually slept really good out here. Fresh air and everything. The girl who was staying here before you guys, she got on me a lot about not properly roughing it. She said I wasn’t really camping at all, so I can’t wait to tell her she was wrong.”

  “Is she coming back?” Esther wondered.

  I snapped my mouth shut. What the hell was I telling them about Sky for? “I don’t know.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I hope? Maybe?”

  “Thank, Finn. Sincerely. For everything.” Adam hesitated and stretched out his hand. “But it’s not necessary.”

  I accepted his handshake. “What do you mean?” I started to ask.

  But trailed off when my answer came in the form of Dinah’s staton wagon bumping towards us. I swallowed hard. Without thinking, I reached out and squeezed Charity’s foot again, a lump forming in my throat. “You guys are leaving?”

  “Dinah found us a place to stay,” Adam explained. He lifted his chin towards her approaching car, and all four of us watched the car bump towards us.

  “Mornin’,” Dinah called, once she'd shut off the engine. “Oh, Finn, you're here too? How are you doin’ today?”

  “You’re moving them?” It came out more aggressively than I meant it, but I couldn’t seem to let go of Charity’s little foot. I was having the strangest feeling of unwanted deja vu.

  Dinah narrowed her eyes. “Of course. They can’t be staying in a tent forever.”

  “Is it safe where they’re going?”

  “As safe as I can make it.”

  “Where is it?” My heart was racing like a panicked horse. My fist itched to fight something and I dropped Charity’s foot before I inadvertently hurt her. “In town? You can’t know that they won’t come after them there.” Rachel’s sister had walked all the way to her house just to shame her into returning. It had broken my brother when she’d gone back. “What about security?”

  Dinah’s wise eyes shone with surprise, and understanding. “There’s a house we use,” she explained. “It was donated to us by a secular family. We use it as a way station for times like this.” She turned and addressed Adam. “One of the bedrooms opened up, but there are still three other people staying there right now. It might be a little cramped, but it’ll be better than staying in a tent.”

  “Finn let us stay in his trailer last night,” Esther said softly.

  Dinah gave me another one of her understanding looks. Like she was seeing something I wasn’t yet aware of. “Did he now?” was all she said. After a heavy pause, she nodded. “Right, let’s get you going, okay? Best to do this before too many of the paying guests wake up and wonder what’s going on. There ain’t too many of them still hanging around, though, so that’s good.”

  “‘Cept me,” I reminded her. “I’m seeing everything that’s going on.”

  “You don’t count, Finn,” Dinah chuckled. “You’re different.”

  “I —.”

  “Help me get this tent loaded up?” Dinah asked.

  Esther handed Charity to Adam, then knelt to gather their meager possessions. She folded everything into a cardboard box Dinah had brought with her. Adam returned to the trailer with one daughter and re-emerged holding them both. Both he and Esther chatted excitedly with Dinah as they loaded first the boxes - and then the babies - into the station wagon.

  And all the while I broke down their tent, unable to say anything around the lump that clogged my throat.

  What had I hoped? What did I want to say? Why did I want to thank them? Why did I feel they'd done something for me that I couldn’t have done for myself?

  Half formed sentences and clumsy explanations twisted together into an impossible knot in my head.

  So I said nothing. And in no time, they'd packed and were ready to go.

  I stood with my hands shoved in the pockets of my sweatpants as they climbed into the car. “Good luck,” I managed to croak out as Dinah started the engine. Then held up my hand. “Wait!”

  I raced back to the trailer.

  Dinah was watching me with that look in her eyes when I rushed back up to the car, the wad of bills waving in my hand. “Take this,” I urged Adam, opening the passenger side door and shoving the money at his chest.

  He looked down at it in shock. “I can’t -,” he faltered.

  “Finn?” Esther stepped out of the back seat.

  She took two steps forward. And hugged me tight.

  I went stiff. And then wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.

  “You’re a good man,” she whispered urgently. “They tell us you’re all evil. But you’re not. There’s good in the world.” She pressed her hand to my chest. “And there’s good in your heart.”

  I stared at her. Then choked and looked away. She waited a moment. Then nodded and went back to the car. “Please try to remember that,” she said, before climbing back in. “Please. Try.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Sky

  The Chit Chat Cafe was a low-slung, yellow-sided building with a roof that bowed in the middle. Inside, the floor sloped at such a steep angle that I stumbled when I first walked in.

  Livvy looked back. “Oh whoops! Yeah, sorry. Should have warned you, this place is like a funhouse. I don’t think there’s a right angle in the entire building.”

  “You seem fine though,” I observed as I watched my feet.

  “I used to work here,” she explained. “It’s like getting your sea legs, you know?”

  The fact
that the whole building was in danger of imminent collapse didn’t seem to affect business in any way. It was one of those rare places that everyone seemed to like. And I mean everyone. Families still dressed for church sat around the wobbly tables and nibbled their pastries carefully so as not to get crumbs on their Sunday best. Meanwhile, bleary-eyed community college students nursed their massive coffees in the corner booth, still hungover from the night before.