His Secret Heart (Crown Creek) Read online

  I licked the end of my thread and got it through the eye of my needle on the first try. “I work in costuming. This is my job. You never know when something will rip.”

  “So this happens a lot?”

  “What?”

  “Guys standing around shirtless waiting for you to do your thing?”

  The twinkle in his eyes brought me back to myself. “Yup, you’ve got it. I’ve got shirtless guys lining up for my skills.”

  “Makes sense to me. You know how to work it.” He glanced at my fingers as I stitched the hole back up again. “You’re good at this.”

  “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

  “Yeah? What’s the best you got?”

  “Are we having a sewing competition now, big man?”

  “No way. You’d mop the floor with me.”

  “Damn right I would.”

  “Wait. I thought you did laundry.”

  “I’m a woman of many talents.” I grinned. “Ask me about the time the lead actress in Little Shop of Horrors ripped out the entire back of her dress five minutes before she was due back out on stage.”

  “Do I have to?” But he was grinning.

  “Do it.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Hey Sky. What did you do when the lead actress in Little… uh... her dress..." He shrugged, feigning boredom. "I forgot the rest.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him. “I made her stand over the sewing machine in the costume shop and I sewed it back up again."

  It took a moment for him to register shock. “With her in it?”

  “Yep.”

  “She… let you do that?”

  “She didn’t have much choice. It would have taken too long to take it off.”

  “Yeah, and we know how disruptive that can be.”

  I looked away. After a beat, I heard him cough. “Sorry, Sky,” he said. “I’m an asshole.”

  I looked at him. “Yeah. You told me. Can’t say I wasn’t warned.”

  “We’re friends.”

  “That’s right.”

  “That’s all.” He was very near me.

  “Yup.”

  “Me being this close to you has no effect on you whatsoever.”

  I looked down at his shirt in my hand. “You should put this on.” When he didn’t move to do it, I reached up and lassoed him around the head with it and yanked it down to his shoulders. “Don’t make me stab you with this needle.”

  “Now why would you want to do that?”

  “Because you drive me nuts.”

  “You drive me nuts too, Sky.”

  “How?” I licked my lips.

  His eyes went right to them. “By doing shit like that.”

  My blood was thundering in my ears. “What does it make you want to do?”

  “Kiss you,” he said, without hesitation.

  I felt faint. “Go ahead.”

  “Yeah?”

  I swallowed. “Because we’re just friends. It won’t do anything for me.”

  “Me either.”

  I looked down at his jeans.

  He snorted. “Purely a reaction to friction darling.”

  “Oh please, so if I do this?” I leaned in and flicked my tongue on his earlobe. What was I doing? Why was I fucking with our equilibrium?

  He held himself stiffly until I'd finished. And then shook his head. “Nothing. And if I do this?” He bent his lips and brushed them against mine.

  I curled my toes to keep from sagging. “Nothing,” I shook my head.

  He pulled back. “Good. We’re better as friends.”

  “Right.”

  He pulled his shirt on the rest of the way. And when he turned his back, I drank an entire glass of water. But it wasn’t enough to cool the fire that burned inside of me.

  That night, after we’d finished the movie, Finn went into the bathroom first. As soon as he closed the door behind him, I jumped up and grabbed his laptop.

  I listened to make sure he was still running the water, then quickly typed my suspicion into the search bar. Then hit Image Search.

  I clapped my hand over my mouth and sat back heavily. I’d been right.

  His tattoo - the two opposing figures facing each other with their arms linked? It was the symbol for the star sign Gemini.

  The Twins.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Finn

  Sitting as far away from her as possible - and mercilessly mocking her taste in movies - seemed to put us back on familiar ground. I made it through My Fair Lady. And by the end of The Breakfast Club, I was no longer afraid that I would spontaneously combust.

  “You want to go in first?” I asked when it was over. Sky was very possessive about her pre-bedtime rituals.

  “You go,” she’d yawned. “I’m too comfortable.

  That made one of us, anyway. “Fine. But don’t complain if I ‘take too long.’” I made air quotes. “I did ask.”

  “I know better than to interrupt your half hour skin care routine,” she teased me.

  “But look.” I pointed to my cheek. “Flawless. Not a pore to be seen.”

  She laughed sleepily. I snuck a glance at her one more time. Just like I’d been doing all through the movie. No wonder it'd made no sense to me (and why did those ‘teenagers’ talk like grown ass adults with mortgages?) She was distractingly cute there, curled up in the corner of my couch. She'd put her usually wild hair up in a high topknot that made the idea of kissing her neck run on repeat in my brain.

  I pushed myself up and away from her before I gave in. “You snooze you lose,” I announced.

  But I was careful not to take too long. I was pretty sure I was in there less than five minutes. So I expected her to still be in her place on the sofa when I emerged. Possibly asleep.

  Not sitting at the table with my laptop in front of her.

  A wave of pure hurt hit me so hard I almost staggered. And with it came the sudden, perfect conviction that this was it. The moment it all went to shit.

  In a way, it was almost a relief to know it was here.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I asked. It was a struggle to keep my voice steady because every emotion was hitting me at once.

  “I wanted to look something up.” Her voice quavered a little. She sounded guilty.

  Which made the betrayal I was feeling even worse. “Who said you could use my laptop?”

  “I didn’t think you’d mind.” She sounded confused. “I mean, I use your washcloth.”

  “This is different.” I stalked over and slammed the laptop closed.

  She jumped back. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “What were you looking at?” I roared. A tiny voice inside of me whispered that I sounded irrational. Like a paranoid asshole. But it was drowned out by the louder one that chanted, she knows now. She knows what a piece of shit you are. She finally knows.

  You could click any result that came up when you searched my name. The evidence was all right there. The fights. The breakdowns. The rambling, incoherent interviews that abruptly ended when I got up and walked out. The breathless tabloid headlines about my family’s terror accompanied by a picture of me looking unhinged. “The Kings’ Secret Shame,” one had labeled me, while the other declared I was the, “The Poison Pop Prince.”

  It was all there, right back to the articles from fourteen years ago. Gallons of ink were spilled in speculation over what had driven ten-year-old star Finn King to attempt suicide. They’d quoted Beau in one of the less tawdry articles.

  I'd read that quote over and over again. It lingered in the back of my brain my whole life. And in the weeks leading up to leaving, I'd dug it back up again to remind myself why I needed to go.

  “My brother is going to be okay,” my twin had told the reporter. “Because I’m going to take care of him. He’s my responsibility.”

  “Did you Google me?” I growled through clenched teeth.

  “Calm down, psycho.” She took deep breath and suddenly her eyes were filling with tears. �
�I’ll tell you if you promise not to get mad.”

  I wasn’t mad, I was grieving. Sky was… well she was mine. She liked me. She enjoyed being with me for some reason. I’d always known I was living on borrowed time with her. That the time would come when she’d come to her senses and realize I was too broken to waste her time with any more.

  I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.

  “I’ll try,” I said, deliberately stepping back.

  “Your tattoo,” she said. “I was trying to see if I was right about what it symbolized.”

  Icewater flowed in my veins. I couldn’t seem to figure out where to put my hands, so I balled them into fists at my sides. “And were you?”

  She blinked up at me. A tear tracked down the side of her cheek, single and perfect.

  And I knew I’d lost her.

  “Gemini,” she said softly. Her voice was filled with pity and it set my teeth on edge. “The Twins, right Finn? For you and Beau?”

  That was it. I couldn’t look at her anymore. I turned away and went to the dark window, staring into nothing.

  “Finn?” Sky followed me. She tried to put a hand on my shoulder but I ducked away and sidestepped her. “Does he have the same tattoo?” she asked.

  “No,” I choked out. “And it’s none of your goddamned business.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “It’s not anything you need to get.”

  “He means so much to you,” she went on, as if she hadn’t heard me. “So much that you inked it right into your skin.” She reached out again and I stepped around her, evading her touch. “Right over your heart Finn. So why are you in the woods, hiding from him?”

  “I told you.”

  “Yeah, but why? Why do you think you’re better off without him?”

  “He’s better off without me!” I exploded.

  Sky’s mouth snapped shut. There was too much on her face for me to handle. I didn’t want her concern, her worry, her pity.

  I didn’t want to be a burden on her too.

  “Look,” I said, after the silence had stretched on too long. “Just forget it, okay? You want the bed or the couch tonight?”

  “Why do you believe that about yourself?” she whispered.

  “Leave it, Sky.”

  “Finn, listen to me -.”

  I whirled on her. “Why? Why are you doing this?” I paced away from her but no matter how far away I got there still wasn’t enough distance between me and her worry. “Do you ever listen to yourself? Why why why? Questions questions questions! Christ, you’re like a dog with a bone! Why can’t you leave well enough alone?”

  “You’re my friend, Finn - !”

  “We’re not friends!”

  She reeled back. “What the fuck?”

  “Are you seriously that deluded? I want to fuck you, Sky.” The hurt on her face had me nodding because yes. This was it. The inevitable was happening. I had a good thing and I was finally fucking it all up.

  “Yeah,” I hissed, moving closer to her. “Every minute of every day, I think of all the things I want to do to you. It’s taking everything I have not to rip your clothes off right now.”

  “So fucking do it,” she snarled, lifting her chin. Tears streaked down her cheeks but her eyes were pure challenge.

  I gripped her shirt, balling it in my fist to yank her to me. Her lips were right there for the claiming. In one heartbeat, I was harder than I’d ever been in my life, already picturing how she would feel from the inside.

  And Sky wasn’t fighting me at all. She curled her lip in fury.

  And then she sniffled.

  The spell broke. I fell back, releasing her. “Go,” I said, turning away.

  “What?”

  “I’m not fucking a girl while she cries. Jesus Christ, what do you think I am?”

  A long silence. And then her small, sad voice. “I have no idea, Finn. I have no fucking idea.”

  I wanted to disappear. I wanted the earth to swallow me up.

  I wished to hell I’d never met her so I’d never have to lose her like this.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Sky

  Morning came way too quickly. I laid there staring at the blue nylon ceiling, gearing myself up to emerge from the warm cocoon of my sleeping bag and into the frost-tinged morning. And as I did, I kept waiting for the pain to hit me.

  But instead of feeling hurt and angry at Finn, I felt only a numb kind of sadness.

  I’d made another close connection, only to have it severed in an instant. This was what happened over and over. Why should I lose time grieving it?

  That’s what I told myself as I made a mental list of what I needed to do next. After weeks of depending on Finn for my food and ways to spend my free time, I’d need something else to do.

  I’d need my own food, first off.

  Yes. A grocery run. I’d done it a bunch of times for the two of us. I shrugged on a sweatshirt, and took a deep breath before unzipping my tent.

  The sight of Finn’s trailer made me freeze. The familiar sleek line of it was a gut punch. It had been my home - he’d been my home - and now I was homeless again.

  This is what happens, the rational side of me whispered. This shouldn’t surprise you.

  Yes, I know, I murmured back. But I didn’t want it to happen with Finn.

  Was he watching me from the window? He could look right out of the one by his bed and see me. Was that his shadow right there?

  Fuck. I turned away with my heart lodged in my throat. I couldn’t stay here. I wasn’t going to run, I rationalized. I just needed to get my tent away and out of sight of that trailer. As far away from my dashed hopes as I could get it.

  Angrily, I got into my car and drove out of the campground. There was only one road out. I could turn left and I would be heading away from here. Putting it in my rearview the way every instinct I had demanded.

  I turned right.

  I cursed all the way to the grocery store and made my way through it like I was traveling through a tunnel. The voices of the other shoppers were nothing more than background noise. I even forgot to be afraid of running into the Knights again.

  I returned to the campground with my meager collection of crackers, instant coffee, and a whole lot of peanut butter. Then my phone rang, jolting me out of my tunnel. It still had battery left over from charging in Finn’s trailer last night. Before everything went to shit.

  I picked it up and stared at the caller ID. “What the?” My cousin never called me. “Hello?”

  “Sky?” She sounded put out.

  “Hey Olivia!”

  “This might sound crazy but.” She paused. “Did I just see you?”

  I licked my lips. “Um. No?”

  “Just now, a second ago? You weren’t at the IGA? I kept staring at this woman in the cracker aisle, thinking ‘nah, couldn’t be. that's not her hair.’ But then I went onto the Facebook page of the show you were just working on and saw you’re wearing your hair wavy now. That was you, right?”

  Guilt wiggled in my belly like a slippery fish. I opened my mouth to explain, but Livvy had already seized on my silence. “Oh my god, Sky! Seriously? That was you!”

  If I lied I’d be the thing I hated most. “Yeah Livvy. That was me.”

  “You’re in Crown Creek?”

  “At the campground.”

  “Still? What the hell, Sky?” The hurt in her voice was palpable.

  “Why are you… what are you upset about?”

  “That you’re camping instead of staying with me!”

  I blinked. I hadn’t even thought about Olivia. Not once, in this whole time I'd been in Crown Creek had I thought about visiting my cousin.

  What kind of person was I? I dragged my hand down my face. “I’m sorry. It’s been a… little bit weird.”

  “You said you’re at the campground? Jesus, it’s freezing outside.”

  “It’s definitely colder than when I first came here.”