Hold Me Tight Read online

  "Oh nothing," she singsonged, then suddenly let out a loud screech. "Shit! I almost forgot! I made dessert too!"

  "How on earth do you expect me to fit dessert in here too?" I groaned, patting my bulging stomach.

  "I know you'll find a way," she said with a big grin. Then she stood up and pressed her hands together. "We've got two choices tonight," she trilled in an expert imitation of a snooty maître d’. "I made a pan of brownies, or, and I know this is what you'll go for Brynn, a chocolate cherry cheesecake."

  I winced, as Rett murmured appreciative noises. Autumn was just about to turn to head into the kitchen when I cleared my throat. "Hey Autumn?"

  She stopped in the doorway of the dining room and looked at me quizzically.

  I cleared my throat. "Hey uh, I actually don't like cheesecake."

  "Oh my God you're such a liar," Autumn laughed. "I've seen you eat it like a million times."

  I felt like I was sinking into a hole, drowning under her disappointment. But I also could feel Rett watching me and with his gaze on me I could also feel the ropes around my wrists and his voice in my ear, saying tell me what you like. Tell me what you want...

  "I know," I said slowly. "I was just trying to be nice."

  Autumn looked between all three of us, like she expected to be caught on candid camera. "Are you kidding me?" she said tightly. "I always thought it was your favorite."

  I winced again, wanting like hell to backtrack, to say I really was joking, to play nice like I always had. I traced the circle around my wrist again, and somehow, as if he could read my mind, I felt Rett reach over and press his hand on my knee. "I guess," I exhaled. "I felt like... if I didn't like it, it would make me a pain in the ass."

  "Why on Earth would you think something like that?" Autumn exploded.

  I pressed my lips together, then opened my mouth, finding the words in my head even as I spoke them out loud. "I guess, I felt like if I was less of a pain in the ass, my mom might have stayed," I said slowly.

  Autumn let out a small gasping sound, and slid back into her chair directly across from me. "Brynn," she said reaching over and grabbing my hand between hers. "Your mom was mentally ill."

  "I know," I said harshly. "I know," I repeated because I finally, suddenly did.

  Rett squeezed my thigh. I cleared my throat. "I know that," I said. "But it took me a while to figure it out."

  I forced myself to look up at Autumn, to meet her eye and there was nothing but love and concern there. She didn't hate me for speaking my mind. She didn't hate me for telling her what it was that I liked and didn't like.

  Something inside of me that had been stretched too tight for far too long suddenly gave way, no longer containing me inside its bounds. Relief like cool water flooded my chest. I smiled, and I felt like I could do so freely for maybe the first time in my life. "Yeah, so," I went on. "I think I'll have the brownies."

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Everett

  As we stepped out into the balmy evening, the full moon that shown overhead had nothing on the gleaming in Brynn's bright eyes.

  "When we get home," she said, and I heard note of authority in her voice that wasn't there before. "You're going to tie me up, with my hands right by my sides," she said, looking me directly in the eye. She lifted her hand and traced a line right down the center of her chest, trailing between her breasts. "I want you to tie a knot, right here," she said, pointing. "You're going to use it as leverage, something to hold on to as you lick me for a solid hour."

  My cock throbbed painfully in my jeans. "Kiss me," I said, reaching out for her and catching her hair in my fist. Holding her head back, she met my eyes with a grin, licking her lips. "Is that what you want?" I asked her. The way the moonlight highlighted the curve of her throat had me nearly seeing stars.

  "And then," she said in that same throaty whisper, "You're going to use that knot to hold onto as you take me from behind."

  My mind snapped and suddenly I had her backed up against a tree, pressing up against her, needing to feel her underneath me even though we weren't home yet. "Yes," I growled, bending to put my lips against her skin. I needed to somehow mark her as mine, right now.

  She hissed as I licked, then sucked into her skin. I did it again and again, hoping that it would show, that people would see it in the morning. When I looked at those marks, just like when I saw the outlines the ropes made against her skin, that's when I knew that this girl? She was mine.

  And holy fucking shit, I was so completely hers.

  She was mine and I was hers and there was so much more to this than I ever thought there would be. I wanted to grab her, shake her, demand to know if she was feeling what I was feeling. What was I feeling? Did it have a name?

  It did. I just had to say it.

  Three little words was all it would take to make her understand. I could tell her.

  But it would be easier to show her. That I understood. That I knew how to do.

  Wild with need, I started hiking up her skirt. "Right here?" she gasped, but as she did she arched into me and I knew she was ready too. I was just brushing my fingers up underneath the soaked fabric of her panties when I was suddenly struck blind.

  "What the fuck?" Brynn winced, squinting into the bright light that was trained on us.

  "Step away from the woman," a voice blared over a tinny loudspeaker. "Raise your hands in the air."

  I stiffened and did exactly what the voice said.

  "Turn around," the voice continued. "Slowly."

  My mind slipped into a careful blank. I stepped around, catching a glimpse of Brynn's confused face as I turned into the light.

  "Ma'am, are you okay?" the voice called.

  Brynn stepped out from behind me, her face still screwed up against the bright light. "Wait a minute," she whispered. Then out loud she called. "Nick? Is that you?"

  My shoulders relaxed a little. "Keep your hands in the air!" Nick barked.

  "Nick," Brynn chuckled, sounding relieved. "It's fine. I'm fine." She looked over at me. "We were just on a date."

  "Looked like an attempted rape to me."

  "Nick, stop," Brynn sighed. "Could you switch the light off please?"

  I gritted my teeth, my hands still in the air. This was a blatant power play. I saw it, even if Brynn still wanted to believe the best of her old friend.

  He stepped out around his cruiser, light still blazing behind him so I couldn't see his face. But he wasn't looking at me anyway. He was making a beeline towards Brynn. "I've been worrying about you," he said and the patronizing note in his voice set my teeth on edge. "That prowler you had, has he given you any more trouble?"

  I took the risk of turning and watching Brynn. She looked down at her hands and then back up again. "Nope!" she said cheerily. "Things seemed to have cleared up." She gave a bright grin. "Maybe it was just a tourist passing through."

  "I don't know about that," Nick said, his tone arrogant. "I've been keeping a watch on you, like I promised. It's not safe for you being all alone like that, on the edge of town. All by yourself."

  "You've been watching my house?" Brynn interrupted, her voice tight. I swallowed down a growl.

  Nick nodded proudly. "Just like I promised. But you wouldn't know I guess, because you're not home a lot."

  At this he glared in my direction and it was achingly clear what this was all about. A tiny flicker of realization flared in my brain, but was snuffed out just as quickly, leaving me with only a vague sense of unease.

  "No, I guess I'm not," Brynn said. Her bright smile had tightened until it looked like a grimace. She darted a look over at me and then turned to Nick with a renewed cheeriness. "Hey Nick? Can Rett put his hands down now? There's nothing illegal going on here, everything is fine."

  Nick looked at me and I lifted my chin, waiting. A flicker of annoyance, of rage passed over his face. He would keep me like this if he could, punishing me for kissing Brynn when he couldn't. But that would make him lose face with her, l
ose that façade of friendly concern. I watched him wrestle with the complicated calculus of punishing me versus saving face and finally he nodded. "It's fine, McLame," he said, making sure to get in that dig. "You both have a good night."

  "Thanks Nick," Brynn trilled. "So good to see you again!"

  The falseness in her voice made me growl softly. She put a steadying hand on my arm and waved enthusiastically to Nick as he drove off.

  When he finally disappeared around the corner, she took a deep breath. I opened my mouth to make a comment about what a fucking douchebag Nick was when she suddenly lifted her finger and pressed it to my lips. "Shh," she said, shaking her head. "I know. Believe me, I know." She shook her head again as if to clear it. I opened my mouth against her finger, wanting to ask her if she had that same tickle of unease in her brain as I did in mine. But she pressed her finger tighter against my lips. "Best to just move on," she said softly, letting her finger fall away. Then she went up on her tiptoes to brush a kiss where her finger had been. "And I have the perfect idea for a distraction."

  My unease fled in an instant. "Me too," I said. "Let's get home." She yelped and then burst out laughing as I swept her feet out from under her and carried her all the way back to my house at a dead run.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Brynn

  "Why do I like you like this?"

  I looked at Rett, where he knelt above me, twining the rope around my wrist. He said it so low, that I wasn't sure if he meant for me to hear. I wasn't even sure if he knew he said it aloud.

  "I don't know," I breathed as he knelt back to survey his handiwork. My wrist was firmly attached to the one of the posts on his four poster bed, and I gave a gentle tug and smiled up at him. "But I'm really glad you do," I said.

  He exhaled sharply, brushing his hands down my side. As it always was, the ropes made me feel everything. I wiggled a little, bicycling my heels against his sheets, squirming, not because I was trying to get away, but because I was feeling so damn much.

  "I shouldn't like seeing you like this," Rett said, in that same low voice. "But when you're like this, I want to worship you."

  The way he was looking at me, I knew that was not hyperbole. It was the truth. His eyes were glazed, worshipful even, as he nudged my thighs wider. He sucked in his breath to see me open to him.

  I never felt more beautiful in my life.

  "Brynn," he said,

  "Yes!" I gasped, as he brushed his fingernail lightly along my clit. "Yes."

  He opened his mouth, as if he was ready to say something more, but whatever it was died on his lips when he bent to kiss my pussy.

  I gasped, arching upward, immediately needing all of this. Whatever he could give me and more. Why did I like this? Why did he like this? I had no idea, but I knew, somehow that it had gone beyond liking. It had gone beyond wanting. I was spiraling headlong down into needing.

  Needing him, needing this, needing to feel him, and needing to feel his ropes hold me tight. Needed to see his dark head bobbing, green eyes fixed in intense concentration as he devoured me. This was becoming as necessary as breathing.

  He was becoming as necessary as breathing.

  When he finally slipped his finger inside of me, curling it in, just the way I liked, I exploded upward, welcoming the shattering heat, the blinding pleasure. And when he rolled the condom onto his cock and I watched him slip inside of me, seeing the way his eyes widened when he saw where we were joined, I knew that I needed this too.

  I needed him this way. With me.

  "Brynn," he said again, voice rough and rasping.

  "Yes?" I gasped as he began to thrust inside of me. "Fuck, I want it. I need it," I babbled. It felt so important to tell him what I'd just realized.

  His eyes widened as he hovered over me, tilting his forehead to press it against mine in his favorite position. And mine too. The one where his eyes filled out my field of vision, drowning me in a sea of green. "Brynn," he said. "I need..."

  "Yes."

  "I need..."

  "I know."

  "No," he struggled, seeming to be frustrated. I opened my eyes wider, bending my head so that I pressed against him harder, arching my body so that we were completely entwined, every cell of my body straining towards him. "I feel that way too," I gasped.

  "No, I need you."

  He pulled back, screwing his face up, and just as I reached the shattering peak again, I heard those words explode out of him." Fuck," he gasped, reaching his pinnacle at the same time as me. "Fuck, Brynn, I love you."

  I couldn’t say what sent me falling first — the blinding orgasm that nearly made me pass out, or the three small words he'd uttered just before it took me.

  Had he actually said them? Or had I imagined them, conjuring the words — the actual meaning to all of this — out of my own roiling subconscious? Had he somehow read my mind? It wouldn't surprise me. Nothing about him surprised me anymore. In fact, I was fairly certain that there was nothing he couldn't do.

  Including render me, Brynn Reese: Professional Babbler, completely speechless.

  He pulled back, waiting for a moment. When I still stared at him, openmouthed, his lip curled up a little and he let out a deep breath. Then he brushed a kiss across my lips and set about loosening my ropes.

  I watched him carefully as he worked above me, his brow knitted in concentration. The rope slid across my skin as he loosened the last knot and something inside of me slid with it. My wrist was free and suddenly with it, my tongue. "I love you too!" I burst out, shouting it much louder than made sense.

  He looked down at me, shocked. Slowly, the realization slid across his face, like the colors across the sky before sunrise.

  And then he broke out into the biggest, widest smile I had ever seen on him. "You do?"

  "Yeah!" I exclaimed. Something brushed on my cheek and I reached up to touch it and my fingers came away wet. I had started crying somewhere in the past minute but I had no idea when. Or even why because I was so goddamned happy I could burst.

  "Well," he said softly, looking down at my hands. He lifted my wrist to his lips and kissed the place the rope had marked. "Well," he said again, folding my hand to his chest. I let out a small exhale when I felt his heart beating there under his skin. "That makes me really happy."

  I felt my lips twitch. That funny, formal way of his. How careful he always seemed to be. I used to make fun of him for it, but now? Now I knew the secret him, the wild savage version that thrilled me to the core. He was both parts, the Boy Scout and the animal and I loved them both, so when I opened my mouth it wasn't to tease him. It was to say, "It makes me happy too."

  Chapter Thirty

  Everett

  I was already awake and watching her when Brynn sighed awake. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at me from the other side of the bed.

  "How are you feeling?" I asked anxiously. There was always that moment, afterward, when I wondered if I'd taken it too far. Her skin wore the roadmap of last night's adventure, but she smiled sleepily and stretched her arms over her head. "Good," she said. "Sore, but good."

  I leaped from the bad. "I'll get you some coffee," I said. "I bet you like it way too sweet."

  She wrinkled her nose adorably. "I bet you like yours way too bitter," she shot back, softening it with a grin. "You don't like to make anything easy on yourself."

  Her words rang in my head as I headed downstairs to start the coffee and rummage through the refrigerator for a breakfast. The word easy was not one that was in my vocabulary. Saying what I wanted to do, what I liked, was the hardest thing I'd ever admitted to myself, much less admitted to someone else. Somehow she was making it easy. This all felt so completely normal, and acceptable.

  And what was more, I was finding myself wanting to spend time with her, even when we weren't in the bedroom. Last night's party at her friends, I'd seen her as I rarely did, and she let a wall down that had been erected so long ago.

  All at once, I was filled with an almos
t frenetic need to keep her here, to stay with her, to spend all my time watching her, studying her, trying to understand how the thing I'd denied myself so long was now something I was allowed. Fuck, something that was even celebrated.

  I needed to know how it was that this could all be so okay.

  I heard the sound of her bare feet against my stairs, and she emerged into the kitchen wearing one of my undershirts. It barely covered her ass cheeks, and I was hard for her once again. I seemed to be hard for her every waking moment of the day.

  "Good morning," I said, handing her a mug. "I basically emptied the entire sugar bowl in here."

  She smiled and took a sip. "Wow, you aren't lying," she said, licking the sweetness off of her teeth.

  "You know I don't believe in half measures," I told to her.

  She looked at me, and then smiled and took another sip.

  I set my mug down on the counter. "So. I was thinking."

  "Oh no, that sounds dangerous," she deadpanned. "You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

  "Haha. Very nice. I'm going to steal that line and use it to bust on your brother."

  "Ugh," she winced. "What do we tell him?"

  "Well?" I took a deep breath. "That's part of what I was thinking."

  She looked at me attentively.

  "I was thinking that we did this all backwards."

  "Huh? How do you mean?"

  "This." I moved my hand in a circle to take in her in my t-shirt, freshly fucked and staying the night. "We haven't taken the typical route to a relationship."

  "Sure we have, just with a few..." She bit her lip and touched her wrist. "Side trips?"

  I grinned. "I don't know what kind of guys you've dated in the past, Brynn. But most relationships don't start with fucking in closets at parties."